Berry Robertson describes Permafrost as "an emotional or mental state of being where you feel very frozen, very numb, very unsure, very scared and very stuck." Also an apt description for growing up, the young, self taught singer-songwriter finds in music a place to process her life, cope and share stories that are deeply rooted in her day to day. "It's something that I need to do not just something I enjoy doing or feel like I want to do. Music is all about connection to me." AHC: What has this journey in music, so far, been like for you, and what life lessons do you feel you've picked up along the way? Berry: My musical journey I guess starts when I was little. I've always wanted to be a musician, it's my dream from childhood (except for the brief moment I wanted to be a vet when I was in elementary school). Singing was my happy place. Music was my happy place. There were a few years where I doubted if my dream of being a musician would ever manage to come true because I had actually been told by someone close to me that I couldn't sing, it crushed me. About two years later I auditioned for a theater in my community, my director asked each of us to sing in front of the other students in the room, the words my close friend previously had said were so engraved into my brain that when one of the older kids from the company said "You don't need to be nervous, you are incredibly good." as a response once I finished singing a few lines I was so taken aback. The world and love of music I had always felt came rushing back and I was ready to start again. I was ready to sing again. I picked up the guitar around age 11 and began to teach myself with a little help from my parents who both play, along with googling chord charts. I remember practicing til my fingers were numb, I probably played around a few hours a day and it took me around a year to feel comfortable with the instrument. Over the past six years playing music has taught me hard work and perseverance can and will get you far in life. It's also taught me how to feel comfortable being vulnerable not only with others but myself. I've never been good at speaking about the things that are on my mind or how I'm feeling but when it comes to making music about it there are no boundaries. It's scary but it's so incredibly empowering to be able to use it as a tool in life to communicate with people in my personal life as well as connect with people who I barely know. Music is all about connection to me. AHC: What first drew you to music and what was your early musical environment like growing up? Were there pivotal songs for you then that just floored you the moment you heard them? Berry: I grew up listening to the radio and a huge collection of cds. One of my earliest memories is hearing Avril Lavigne's 'Complicated' when I was probably around 2 years old on what I believe was a road trip around Easter time, cause I remember eating lemon jellybeans while it played. Music has always been such a big part of my life and attaches strongly to my memories. My dad and mom both learned piano growing up, my mom taught my dad guitar, both of them wrote songs and also were fairly involved in musical theater. I have a musical family pretty much. There are so many songs that have influenced me. I grew up on John Mayer, Ryan Montbleu who is a good friend of my dad, and also radio music so my taste in music genre wise is all over the place. Something that might sound a bit silly but Taylor Swift has been a huge influence for me. I know she isn't everyone's cup of tea but I've listened to her music for over half my life, her ability to write about her own personal experiences and be so open, so vulnerable despite so much negativity around her music is really inspiring for me. I danced to her music with my childhood best friend. When I was little her music was fun to listen to, to act out dramatic scenes with friends, and sing into a hairbrush to. Now I relate on a more emotional level since I've had my fair share of heartbreak. She is a big reason I started playing guitar, after I watched her documentary it was like a light bulb went off, it gave me that little extra nudge I needed. That if someone from the middle of nowhere can now be selling out world wide while singing about her emotions and feelings then maybe I could too. Other songs that really hit hard are Home by Gabrielle Aplin, that song resonates so strongly in my heart, Skinny Love by Bon Iver, A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton is one of the first songs I ever remember hearing so that one hits home real hard, I didn't grow up on a lot of older music and sometimes I feel like I kinda missed out since I mostly listened to late 90s to early 2000s music as a kid. It wasn't til the past few years I started listening to music from older decades. AHC: Do you remember the first song that you ever wrote or played? Or that first moment when you picked up a pen and realized that you could create whole worlds just by putting it to paper? Berry: I can't pin point my first ever song, I know I've been writing songs without guitar or music to accompany it since I was around 7 or 8. I used to sing about what I was doing like my life was a musical honestly, I still do that sometimes to write songs. However 'Hold On' which is on my album 'PERMAFROST' I wrote back in January of 2015, it was the first song I wrote that I was proud of, that I felt was good enough to share. I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to music, which can often lead to overthinking when I write songs. I've been trying to work on letting it go since my best songs tend to be very spontaneously written. AHC: Which musicians have you learned the most from? Or writers, artists, filmmakers, family members, teachers/mentors etc? Berry: I've recently been learning a lot from my other musician friends, I love to see how they work and their creativity inspires me in my creating. Music is a very independent thing for me, it's always been something I do alone and work on by myself. I've sorta been my own teacher in the world of music, it's never been a structured thing for me. I am deeply inspired by so many artists it would take ages to list them, since music is so deeply rooted in my way of living I think the biggest teacher I've had in music is my own life experiences and how they shape and mold me as an artist. AHC: What do you think makes for a good song, as you're writing and composing, is there a sudden moment when you know you've found the right mix, that perfect angle of light, so to speak? Berry: A good song is one that comes from a place of vulnerability. It's raw, there is no holding back, and it's organic. If I over think the song it won't come out as well as I want it too and it's so hard not to over think sometimes when it comes to music. Lyrics are the most important part of a song for me, the music behind it is also very crucial but with my music the lyrics really set the tone. I love using words that have nice mouth songs, if that makes sense? In my song 'Unrequited' I have the lyric 'and this isn't a confession of misplaced affection' and those words together just roll off the tongue in a way that feels so satisfying to me. When I'm writing I just go, I can't normally recall what's happening because I'm just letting the words flow out. I want to work on incorporating more composing wise since my music at the moment is very lyric driven. AHC: Do you consider music to be a type of healing art, the perfect vehicle through which to translate a feeling, a state of rupture/rapture, hope lost and regained? Does the writing and creating of the song save you in the kinds of ways that it saves us, the listener? Berry: This question is first off probably my favorite so far because my music is how I process my life. When I'm writing a song I'm giving you a piece of me, an experience, my feelings, I'm telling you a story, I'm letting you into my life. I struggle with mental illness and my music is how I cope and push forwards on the hard days. Whenever I get hit with writers block it's often because I'm repressing a situation I know I need to process but don't want to, so it's very connected with healing, growing, and becoming more of myself. It's something that I need to do not just something I enjoy doing or feel like I want to do, it's deeply rooted in my way of life. AHC: What are your fondest musical memories? In your house? In your neighborhood or town? On-tour, on-the-road? Berry: The first one that pops into my head is one night at the summer camp I attend one of the advisers (which is like a counselor) hosted a jam night. A bunch of young musicians sat around in a circle, he started us off with a chord and then all of us would play around with our own instruments until we were composing together. It felt electric and I loved it. The first time I sang one of my songs in front of a crowd was at a talent show, which was already nerve wracking enough then add that the person who the song was about was one of the people in the crowd, a love song written as a Valentine's day gift and they had ended our relationship barely a month before. I was so incredibly nervous but even with my nerves I got a standing ovation. I will never forget that. AHC: What are the kinds of things that you tell yourself when you begin to have doubts or are struggling with the creative process? Berry: Whenever I'm struggling I go back to my old songs and play them again to remind myself that I can make music, I have made music that I am proud of. I managed to write, compose, record, and produce an album without an agent, record label, or album just out of pure passion and also the compassion of others who supported me. I have to remember I am young and still learning but I have accomplished a lot by 17, also it's okay to have periods of creative block, it's normal despite how frustrating it is. AHC: Do you have any new projects you'd like to mention? Berry: I am currently brain storming up my next album or E.P. Nothing is set in stone but I did order a midi controller so I'm very excited to get to play around with that and incorporate it into my work. To purchase Berry's new album, Permafrost, visit berryrobertson.bandcamp.com/album/permafrost-3
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