Toronto based fine art photographer Vanessa Paxton describes her creative process as a type of puzzle, taken apart bit by bit and slowly put back together again, under the mysterious guiding eye of the lens, unique, fractal moments in time shutter forth. Grappling with a love/hate relationship creatively Vanessa remarks, "I’m only ever happy with an image if I’ve suffered in some way to create it." Yet the darkness of the images are equaled by their counterparts of light, a difficult balance somehow sustained and showing through the life cycle of these wonderful photographs. AHC: What first drew you to fine art photography? Was there a specific moment in your life or turning point where it became clear to you that you were being called to create? Vanessa: I suppose what drew me to fine art photography were the endless possibilities of self-expression. I loved learning existing techniques and later creating my own. I don’t think there was specific turning point for me. As far as I can remember I was always like this. AHC: Could you talk some about your overall process, themes & inspirations? Vanessa: Lately I’ve been less drawn to create, less inspired. I’ve gotten to the point now where I know all the techniques and tricks that are out there to create something stunning but I have nothing important to say, and for me I need to be saying something; Not just creating pretty pictures. Images used to be like puzzles and when I found a really complex one I just had to take it apart and put it back together again. Learning was my inspiration. AHC: Who are some of your artistic influences? Is there anyone outside of the art world whose work has impacted your own, or who just generally inspire you, writers, filmmakers, musicians etc? Vanessa: There have been so many over the years. The music of Trevor Hall used to be a big inspiration for me, but I’ve been stuck on Daughter for a while now. I’m also inspired by ‘The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows’ oddly enough, and Darren Aronofsky films like The Fountain. AHC: When did you get your first camera and what were some of the first shots that you took? Vanessa: I got my first camera in Grade 10 of high school. My boyfriend at the time bought it for me, such a sweetheart. The first shot I took with it was actually a portrait of him during a snowstorm. He looked like John Snow from Game of Thrones. I’m sure I could hunt that photo down if I really tried, but you can see some of my first shots with that camera on Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/idle_a_while/229279960/in/dateposted-public/ AHC: What was the most difficult piece for you to create, shoot, technically and conceptually? Have you ever had to abandon a piece because the elements just weren't coming together in the right way? Vanessa: This shot right here. I was alone, it was raining (freezing rain mind you, like shards of glass pelting your skin), I was barefoot in a construction zone and I had waaaaay too many props with me to lug home with numb hands. I actually got hypothermia from that shoot - And possibly some PTSD. That was definitely the day where I started to hate using myself in my art. I came to the realization that I’m only ever happy with an image if I’ve suffered in some way to create it or if I’m expressing some form of suffering. Thus, I have a very love hate relationship with the whole process. https://www.flickr.com/photos/idle_a_while/6262799826/in/dateposted-public/ AHC: What is the first work of art you encountered that took your breath away? Vanessa: I cannot think of a single image right now. I’m trying my best to think back because there must have been one particular image that took my breath away. My mind is just a flood of beautiful images I’ve seen over the years. AHC: Are there times when you become blocked creatively? What do you do to rekindle inspiration? Vanessa: Like I mentioned earlier, I’m definitely going through that now. I’m really struggling to get out of this rut I’m in. I could use some advice myself on how to get out of it. AHC: Do you have any words of advice for young photographers-artists who are rooting around in themselves trying to find their own internal artistic vision? Vanessa: I don’t mean this to sound in any way harsh, but I really think you either have it or you don’t. Or perhaps I’m misunderstanding the question. I wouldn’t presume to tell anyone how to find his or her own internal artistic vision. That’s way too personal of a thing. AHC: Do you have any upcoming exhibits or new projects you'd like to tell people about? Vanessa: I’m currently working on a photo series but it’s under wraps for the time being. Sometimes you just need to create things for your eyes only. Live with it for a while. Let it exist for some time, free of the worlds critique. Comments are closed.
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December 2024
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