Poetry by DeWitt Clinton

       Nicholas Erwin CC




Two Scoops of Chocolate Crunch, Please

               after Ruth Bavetta’s “Old”

Of course not, why would you even be thinking about that,
But haven’t you noticed what everyone else is fretting about,
The “older/old” theme that more and more of us are talking
About as if it’s some unexpected firestorm, or a lava flow 
Flowing from who knows where, or glaciers calving into the
North and south seas, and it’s not all that helpful when someone
Says why is everyone in my alumni class as old as I am, so for
Pete’s sake, of course you are, and I’m with you on that, only
We can tamp down all the fear and sputtering we’ve been hearing
About, especially as nursing homes are in the news every day now
With fewer and fewer staff to attend the old ones in rooms so
Seldom opened, and if they are, o God, let me just tell you even
Though I haven’t registered for a room yet, and never ever want
To, but, okay, it’s dark and smelly in there, with someone on their
Side, gripping the iron rails, even bending a few of the railings,
Moaning and moaning like something out of that Italian poet’s
Ramblings about an inferno, as if he really knew anything, and 
Who does know anything about what’s going on in the old ones’ 
Minds anymore as we all can only probably guess it’s a plea of 
“Help me” pretty damn close to the fly in the classic Fly movie 
So now is everybody listening, Two Scoops of Chocolate Crunch, 
Please, of course not, why would you even be thinking about that,
But haven’t you noticed what everyone else is fretting about,
The “older/old” theme that more and more of us are talking
About as if it’s some unexpected firestorm, or a lava flow 
Flowing from who knows where, or glaciers calving into the
North and south seas, and it’s not all that helpful when someone
Says why is everyone in my alumni class as old as I am, so for
Pete’s sake, of course you are, and I’m with you on that, only
We can tamp down all the fear and sputtering we’ve been hearing
About, especially as nursing homes are in the news every day now
With fewer and fewer staff to attend the old ones in rooms so
Seldom opened, and if they are, O God, let me just tell you even
Though I haven’t registered for a room yet, and never ever want
To but, okay, it’s dark and smelly in there, with someone on their
Side, gripping the iron rails, even bending a few of the railings,
Moaning and moaning like something out of that English poet’s
Ramblings about Hell, as if he really knew anything, and who does
Know anything about what’s going on in the old ones’ minds anymore
As we all can only probably guess it’s a plea of “help me” pretty damn
Close to the fly in the classic Fly movie so now is everybody listening,
Can you hear the squeaky voice, or are you just blocking out what
You’re hearing knowing someday, God forbid, you’ll be doing just
That, but then, O this will be a relief, we’re actually not there, and
A few of us are writing petitions to not ever ever hear about the 
You know what that smells so bad even if the doors are closed
And the help, well, the help can’t even be found, so this is where
It might be a good time to reintroduce what absolutely no one
Ones to hear even if it was a thrilling movie of long ago with that
Actor of the honorific name which I can’t even recall now as so 
Much of what I want to recall just doesn’t show up on my tiny
Screen anymore, and I spend the rest of the day doing tricks just
So, I can remember, oh yes, Charlton, Charlton Heston, and the
Movie, of course, of course, was “Soylent Green,” but really,
It’s such a better situation that what we’ve been hearing about
Lately in the news, in addition to all the other news that is so
Depressing, especially if you, like me, are one of the older ones,
But who really wants to go to “the home,” and the ads for a 
Home for mother, or dear gramps, well, the pictures are such
Happy scenes, who wouldn’t want to write a check right now
And reserve a nice comfortable cell to languish and decompose
In as, remember, nobody, nobody is going to stop in and see
Just how you are.  Instead, and this just may be a more fitting
Ending, we’re all lined up ready to check out, at what, 35 was it
Or something like that, but one can also take a deep breath, so
Please do, and just realize the difference, please between feeling
Old, or actually being old, or even old without a brain, and just
Older, as that isn’t so bad, because if that’s the case, then we 
Can all step out of our comfortable abodes, and check out the
Freezer section in the local groceries for all the flavors of yes,
Ice cream, and who, who doesn’t like a scoop or two of that?

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DeWitt Clinton taught English, Creative Writing, and World of Ideas courses for over 30 years at the University of Wisconsin—Whitewater.  Recent book collections include At the End of the War (Kelsay Books, 2018), By A Lake Near A Moon: Fishing with the Chinese Masters (Is A Rose Press, 2020), and Hello There (Word Poetry, 2021) which was awarded the 2022 Edna Meudt Poetry Book Award from the Council for Wisconsin Writers.  He has a new collection of poems coming out in the fall of 2025.