Poetry by Stuti Sinha

        Emma K Alexandra CC




The questions you left behind the day you left
(Trigger Warning:  Suicide)
 
Was it sudden?
Had you been thinking about it?
How long?
Why didn’t you talk to us?
Did we miss the signs? Ignore them?
Didn’t we laugh together in hysterics just yesterday?
Did you know that laugh would be the last?

I hear it ring now between the blaring of the siren.
Within an endless wait, the whiteness 
in the room engulfs me.  White;
the walls, people clothed in the colour of mourning, 
their washed out faces, the colour of the sheet 
in which you are now wrapped.
They carry you back inside.
A breezeless chill cracks the room. 

How do I ease my cousin’s pain?
What does comfort mean to one who loses a father?

Lay it down
I turn and stare at him, a little more white
Lay it down
His words rattle the guilt in my silence

It?
Not him? Not Daddy?
The reek of curiosity pulls me to the balcony.
I pause at the last imprint
of your slipper on the balcony chair,
before the dawn blew a fuse.
As I peer over the balustrade
my insides take a plunge down your final path.
Fifteen floors.

Is it wrong to stitch events that perhaps led you here?
How many seconds did it take?  Did you feel the impact?
What thought clung to you, in that final sec ——--



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​Stuti is a published and award-winning Indian writer, who lives in Dubai.  She writes immersive narratives about the human experience, nostalgia and emotions.  Being passionate about travel she loves to weave different cultures and her heritage into her writing.

Stuti has been acclaimed by several international writing competitions, including the San Antonio Writers Guild Poetry Competition, Letter Review Poetry Competition, Westmoreland Festival Fiction Contest, the Allingham Festival Poetry contest and others.  In addition, she has been published by several international literature magazines and presses.

She has two adorable cats named Yuki and Sushi.