Sophie Fetokaki is an interdisciplinary artist, vocalist and writer living between Cyprus and the U.K. She likes, as much as possible, to make art in the margins of experience. She is also a language fetishist and inhabits a variety of language-bodies. Her first poetry book epigraphē is forthcoming in 2019 with 1913 press. Paul Simpson CC
Shopping for Crayons Have you ever rubbed crayons together to see the colors streak and clot pulpy like brain matter? Never mind. I was just thinking how it’s best to knock open the clamped-down, door-shut world so that new colors shine and sing. What would you do with peak caffeination? I like to write poems in my head while shopping with my kids. I like to imagine strangers kissing in stingy aisles. I like to tease acid thoughts till they’re fluffed like clouds. Try to understand, language is bait to a better life. Ever wonder how we’ve built so much, spent ourselves every which way? Never mind. Pierce the eye of the cliché. Strange we’re friends kicking in different dreams. I love you too and forever. Scott Neuffer—author of RANGE OF LIGHT (forthcoming) and SCARS OF THE NEW ORDER—is a writer, journalist, poet, and musician who lives in Nevada with his family. His work has appeared in Nevada Magazine, Foreword Reviews, Underground Voices, Construction Literary Magazine, Shelf Awareness, Entropy Magazine, Wilderness House Literary Review, Gone Lawn, and elsewhere. He’s also the founder and editor of the literary journal Trampset. His indie rock music is available on Apple Music and Spotify. Follow him on Twitter @scottneuffer @sneuffermusic @trampset Follow 5/2/2019 The Burning Bush by Donna DallasThe Burning Bush They want to know what I think as I stare out the window I’m thinking a rare filet mignon a cheeseburger I’m thinking…….when was the last time I dropped anything off at the dry cleaners……. I thought the garbage went out yesterday - I thought wrong I thought I pulled a soulmate out from that endless sea of men I thought your jeans looked a little tight a few months ago most recently I thought you slimmed down almost back to perfection - almost back to that buff body we began with and I think to myself why why so perfect now years and years later why am I more unkempt and you are chiseled and razor and yes we know we always know as I think along I realize you created an inner circle of angst that deadly ring of fire in which our burdens from so many yesterdays burned through small cinders and sparks in the ash of here and now and then I think…….see what we do when bitches are burned -- it’s the ugly it’s the raising of the center of Dis and there goes a cattle truck I wonder if they know they are going to die the cows………………I try to think how do they kill them the cows I can’t imagine what happens and I notice the long road to our home I don’t even know the street names anymore I just know the landscape if I couldn’t read I would know by the Flame bushes and the Ghost Maples the Weeping Willow and I think I know exactly where I am…….a young blonde woman jogs by perhaps a new neighbor I’ve never seen her before she’s quite extraordinary and I can’t take my eyes off her it’s just a diversion I think just a way to stop thinking but thoughts are like air my love………….breathe them in and in and never enough can’t stop can’t function without……. the thought of you is what kills me over and over Donna Dallas studied creative writing and philosophy at NYU. She was originally published in The New York Quarterly and studied under founder and Editor, William Packard. She took a slight hiatus and most recently has appeared in Visceral Uterus, Red Fez Magazine, Bewildering Stories and several other publications. At the Victoria & Albert Museum Two little girls, both about four, play in the courtyard’s shallow pond. The day is warm. They run and splash in unselfconscious delight. I have seen such abandonment before in a great violinist playing Beethoven’s concerto. I have watched as she was lifted and then carried away on the tide of the orchestra. I saw her surrender to the music, as if she was a mere instrument and the orchestra a single entity chosen for that moment to transmit wrought transcendence in all its complex, shifting moods. The concerto I hear this day is different. As I watch and listen I am moved by this question: in all the marbled stillness inside the museum, all the carefully re-created rooms, all the beautiful costumes from eras long since gone and all the exquisitely designed rugs hanging quietly on walls, is that any greater beauty than this which I observe in these two little virtuosos improvising on their single theme in a way that requires no rehearsal, only the abandonment found in the very young or in great artists, whilst an orchestra of blue sky, water, sunlit grass, light on skin and hair, splash of colour and ripple of laughter plays in beauty-saturated accompaniment? Neil Creighton is an Australian poet whose work as a teacher of English and Drama has made him intensely aware of how opportunity is unequally proportioned. His work reflects strong interest in social justice, indigenous issues, the environment and relationships. His poetry has appeared in many places, both online and in hard-copy. He is a Contributing Editor at Verse-Virtual and his chapbook, “Earth Music”, has been accepted for publication by Praxis Magazine Online. After a Long Winter The carpenter ants aren’t clever enough. Sawdust across threshold gives away their terraced apartments. Haul it away, and live another season. A red door, slightly water rotted, gave them easy purchase, and to the colony, wasn’t this a tree unnaturally thin and straight, its casing more secure? Their first job in the universe is excavation. Whatever aids destruction, prevents the forest flaming. Would you be winged or sterile wingless workers? Do you live amongst the colony of females trudging, cutting, carrying? Their life is factory. Winged males emerge on warm days in spring like us with our mowers and rakes. Winged males emerge on warm days in early summer, and the long winter long behind, mating! They have left the dark and cleaned out door. They have left the sawdust betrayal. Mating occurs during brief flight, air, so much air and wind after the still home where everything was path and circle space like a water trail meandered. And even at night, more light—moon-- than the dark they were born to. Imagine how strange even sound might be, and then flight, so freeing. Mating after which the male dies. What, Species, were you thinking? Males unnecessary past this point. Do not enter. Go no further. Dead. Their religion would call it ascension or rapture. Or would they have heaven in soft moist earth and wood? Is every tunnel homage to the ones gone home? Every female is a winged queen sailing the air for mating, up to now when she who has flown, fairy to nature’s moonlit dream, removes her wings, mermaid trading tail, angel coming down to earth. Supernatural called back to ordinary. Wingless, she searches for a nesting site. Let the larvae replace the males who died. the new home is soft, moist, decaying wood of a hollow tree, stump, or log, our porch pillars, door or window casing. We can’t understand-- Ralph Waldo Emerson, be damned-- I swear what drives us is more beautiful. And would the carpenter ants, swear same? Their whitish, soft-bodied, legless larvae later become the sterile female workers. With thanks to the writing of Steve Jacobs, Sr. Extension Associate Penn State College of Agricultural Sciences Laura Lee Washburn is a University Professor, the Director of Creative Writing at Pittsburg State University in Kansas, and the author of This Good Warm Place: 10th Anniversary Expanded Edition (March Street) and Watching the Contortionists (Palanquin Chapbook Prize). Her poetry has appeared in such journals as Cavalier Literary Couture, Carolina Quarterly, Ninth Letter, The Sun, Red Rock Review, and Valparaiso Review. Born in Virginia Beach, Virginia, she has also lived and worked in Arizona and in Missouri. She is married to the writer Roland Sodowsky and is one of the founders and the Co-President of the Board of SEK Women Helping Women. https://www.facebook.com/sekwhw 5/2/2019 Ants in January by GJ HartAnts in January Flicked Out glove This winter, Rolling Rudiments Of icey Phalanx against Raddled Glaze As Mr Flash (Smugly Summered Cat) Curls to a semicolon Before His bowl And across Travertine Ants. Like erroneous Full stops Stop me mid Sentence. Winds Snuffling For cold Had scattered Them as you Lift skins And I Gut, Discussing Nothing, Nothing At our feet - They had become Cold Once more and far Too soon. GJ Hart currently lives and works in London and has had stories published in Isacoustic, The Molotov Cocktail, The Jersey Devil Press, the Harpoon Review and others. He can be found arguing with himself over @gj_hart. 5/2/2019 Starved of Moonbeams by Gregory Ross Starved of Moonbeams Starved of moonbeams at the pinnacle of a modern depression, I don’t care how many broken plates it takes to achieve the perfect exhaustion. Darkness coughs up the toxic allure of old velvet curtains, and I’m fortunate enough to know that fortune lies in a lack thereof, a hole in your pocket the size of eternity leading out onto streets flooded with carmine light, where the music of starved cats and smoke-like wisdom abide by the echoes and footsteps of a few dawn-kites still kicked about by the stubborn breath of Time. Gregory Ross is No One in its most collective sense, a merry mondsucher from the banks of the Ramapo River who's had the good fortune to see a few poems in print but the better fortune to never stop writing once he began. In fact, the bulk of his work has been published anonymously, on cardboard boxes, to be read, or not, by a few random souls on their way to the recycling plant. Currently working on a novel that's begun to grow indistinguishable from reality. I Carved Your Name In My Heart I carved your name in my heart in a place that never heals with a dull blade carefully crafted from my own fingernail in July wind with November detail scattering its cold aesthetics while standing at the rocks of a broken monument we visited just before that last closeness could seal itself away and before the distance came back with a knife of its own dividing its lips. Each letter I screamed for you across empty fields and familiar lakes hoping the state forests didn’t get in the way but even if they did even if I was just a faded scar in your fold you never thought to pay attention to there’s still the act. It still meant something. Matthew Little has been writing poetry since being introduced to the works of Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton in 2012. He currently resides in his birth city of New Bedford, Massachusetts, where he spends his time working his day job, writing whenever he can muster the strength, and relaxing with his boyfriend and their two cats, Wicca and Wylie. 5/2/2019 My Mother’s Fish by Will StenbergMy Mother’s Fish My mother stored secret pain in her eyes it thrashed a hooked fish and each sleepless night she was reeling it in so her sons would never have to stand in that desolate place and cast a line. Will Stenberg grew up in a small logging town in the wilds of Northern California and currently resides in Portland, Oregon, where he works as a bartender. His poems have been published in a number of print and online journals and his music is available under his own name on most streaming services. 5/2/2019 Coming to Terms by Ashlyn Easley Mayastar CC
Coming to Terms I wake up in a cold sweat after dreaming about him. I am overcome with a sense of panic every time I see a guy with red hair. No one will ever understand what I went through. This gives me a sense of isolation, but it also makes me who I am today. He has given me both a curse and a gift. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s go back to the beginning. Jake Smith. I met him in archery during the summer after my freshman year and automatically fell for him. We didn’t talk much once school started, and he eventually stopped going to archery, but I never stopped yearning for him. When Jake came back to archery at the beginning of junior year, I was overjoyed. I ended up getting his phone number under the pretense of needing help with math homework. I made excuses to text him, and eventually he started coming over to my house. Over time, I got to know him in a way that his other friends never did. I learned that he lived with his mother and two siblings because his parents were divorced and that he had moved around a lot as a child. I learned that he was abused by his mother’s ex-boyfriends and didn’t have a close relationship with his father, who failed to be involved in his life after the divorce. Every memory he shared with me made me like him even more. And when he told me that he thought love and dating were pointless, my heart melted. I made it my mission to change his mind about love, and change it I did. A few weeks later, Jake texted me to make sure I was going to archery on Friday. I thought it was sweet that he wanted to hang out with me, so I made sure to go. However, he wasn’t himself when I got there. He was quieter than usual, but it was more than that. He just seemed off, and it made me worried. I knew something was wrong, but he wouldn’t tell me what it was. Two days later, he told me he was ready to talk, so I told him to come over. I didn’t know what to expect when he came over, but what he told me was much, much worse than anything I could have ever imagined. The first thing he did was ask me out, which was great because I had been hoping he liked me back. Then, he started talking really fast. He said that he had anxiety and depression and that he was homicidal and suicidal. He said that he had had a plan to lock the doors that Friday at archery and start by taking out his brother before killing everyone else in the room. And then he grabbed my hands and told me that he didn’t go through with his plan because he didn’t want to hurt me. The days following Jake’s confession blurred together as I struggled to comprehend what he had told me. The realization that he was going to kill all those people finally hit me the following week when he did a Homecoming Proposal for me. His brother tagged along to take pictures of the proposal, and I felt sick. I couldn’t stop seeing him dead by Jake’s hand. I faked a smile and went to class, but as soon as they were gone, I ran to the bathroom to throw up. I had finally opened my eyes to the horror of what he had planned to do, but I didn’t know what to do. If I broke up with him, what would he do? I couldn’t bear to think of him hurting anyone, so I talked to my parents. We decided to go to the police the next day because we couldn’t offer the kind of help Jake clearly needed. The details of that day have faded from my memory, but I remember calling my friend Misael and breaking down on the phone. Once I started crying, I couldn’t stop. It was as if a dam had broke and all of my emotions were finally spilling out. They say that crying is supposed to help you feel better, but it didn’t. I felt weak. I was disgusted by the fact that I still wanted to be with him. I blamed myself for his arrest and I let that guilt fester into anger, which I then took out on my friends. I lost one of my closest friends because she wouldn’t give me space to sort through my emotions. I asked nicely to give me time to bounce back because I knew I wouldn’t be myself for a while, but she wouldn’t stop pushing me to act normal. She wanted me to crack a joke and pretend that I was fine, but I just couldn’t. Every time I tried to express to her how traumatized I was by the whole situation, she would get mad and tell me that she was “only trying to help”. I tried to be understanding and patient because I knew she couldn’t possibly understand what I went through, but I eventually gave up on trying to be friends with her. Somewhere down the line, my guilt twisted into something else entirely and I decided that I loved him. I sugarcoated the memories of his plan and the trauma it inflicted. I told myself I would be lucky if he took me back, and so I was overjoyed when he told me he still wanted to date me. We became the perfect couple and spent every waking moment together. That is, until Jake went to court and was banned from contacting me, “the victim”. I was devastated at first, but I eventually adjusted to life without him. I no longer felt like I loved or needed him. A few months later, we were allowed to talk again, so he called me. It should have been a relief to hear his voice, but in that moment, terror and nausea washed over me once again. The memories came rushing back to me: the crazed look in his eyes when he told me about his plan, the visions of everyone dead, the day we went to the police. I knew I could never look at him in the same way; I had to break up with him. He took the breakup well, but he never stopped trying to talk to me. Every time he texted me, I panicked. I hated that he had that power over me and eventually blocked his number. After blocking him, I felt a sense of profound freedom, and I’ve been chasing that feeling ever since. What happened with Jake was incredibly traumatic, but I have grown as a person because of it. I doubt I will ever fully recover from that trauma, but I’ve come to accept it as a part of me. I am stronger despite what happened to me, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Jake’s story is only a chapter of mine, and I will continue to tell it for years to come. Ashlyn Easley is an 18-year-old aspiring writer and poet who currently resides in Arizona. In her free time, she enjoys procrastinating on homework by rereading her favorite books. In the fall, she will be studying a variety of things at Northern Arizona University. Direct any fan mail or critiques to her Instagram (@booknerd778). |
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