Alcohol or Xanax™ to sleep by Betsy Mars

                        Laurie Avocado CC



​Alcohol or Xanax™ to sleep
 
and then I'm startled, heart pounding
from whatever dream of ineptitude
or decrepitude haunts me. The usual:
wrong place, wrong time,
lack of preparation.
 
Pregnancy at 60 (and guilt
about the aforementioned drugs).
Intimacy with celebrities I never liked:
any closeness welcomed
and feared.
 
But occasionally there's a blue lagoon:
teaming with fish, abundant
fluttering life camouflaged and delicate,
clinging to the outer reef,
while I am called to shore.
 
Reluctant, I pursue my business in town,
longing to return, to skim
the bottom for what I've found:
an endless replenishment
of iridescent, cast-off shells.

​

Betsy Mars was born in Connecticut, but has spent most of her life in the Los Angeles area. A two year stint in Brazil as a child made a lasting impact on her in terms of her early awareness of language and culture, socio-economic differences, and left her with an abiding love of travel. She is an educator, mother, and animal lover, and is striving desperately to make up for lost time after decades away from the serious study and writing of poetry. Her work has recently appeared in Writing In A Woman's Voice, The Rise Up Review, and the Peacock Journal.

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