Cookie Cutter by Juliette van der Molen

Cookie Cutter
 
These are the memories
meant to be sweet,
Christmastime treats—
a batter stirred,
simple choices,
a dough kneaded light
to keep it tender,
rolled thin,
ready to cut shapes--
trees & stars,
bells & wreaths,
mother's rolling pin
setting a course for tradition.
cookies cut and sugared right--
'trees are green, not red!',
she says and i learn
to wallpaper an obedient face.
my hands fist into my
Raggedy-Ann printed apron,
wrinkling ruffled trim,
knees pressed in silent
prayer against a wooden
seat that won’t forgive me,
hard just like the smile
that she turns on me,
a mouth that opens
and threatens to eat
my thoughts alive
no matter how silent they are.
so—
i sugar all the trees green,
and wait for the falling
hand of justice
she hovers over my head.

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Juliette van der Molen is a writer and poet living in the Greater NYC area. Her work has also appeared or is forthcoming in Rose Quartz Journal, Burning House Press, Memoir Mixtapes, Collective Unrest and You Are Not Your Rape (anthology).  You can find more of her writing at Medium and connect with her on Twitter @j_vandermolen. Her debut chapbook, Death Library: The Exquisite Corpse Collection, was published in August 2018 by Moonchild Magazine.