girl with dead father by Mela Blust

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girl with dead father

my mother has a word
she turns it on her tongue, but spits it out.
i whisper it into the darkness and
it does dance with her loneliness,
although i never say widow out loud.

i search every desolate corner for my title.
i look inside my skin.
the razor finds no noun;
the blood, no language but release.
still i am a hollow thing i cannot name.

i am drowning in adjectives-
glacial, distant, incurable
i breathe so quietly waiting 
but no word says "girl with dead father"
and i am mistaken for so many things.

in the first days, months
i will seek until my body shrinks
until my scars become a map
but after years, there is no definition, no destination
and i have settled for ashes.

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Since seeking publication just over a year ago, Mela’s work has been nominated twice for Best Of The Net, and has appeared or is forthcoming in The Bitter Oleander, Isacoustic, Rust+Moth, Anti Heroin Chic, Rhythm & Bones Lit, The Nassau Review, The Sierra Nevada Review, South Florida Poetry Journal, Collective Unrest, and many more. Her debut poetry collection, Skeleton Parade, is available through Apep Publications.
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She is Head Publicist and Social Media Manager for Animal Heart Press, a contributing editor for Barren Magazine, and a poetry reader for The Rise Up Review.
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She can be followed at https://twitter.com/melablust.

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