How to Love Someone who has Never Been Loved (or How to Learn to Love Again) by Nina Belen Robins

How to Love Someone who has Never Been Loved
(or How to Learn to Love Again)

1

The first time you touch him he will flinch.
He is an abandoned warehouse
which has not felt electricity
pump through its walls since it was built.
Your fingertips are the first lanterns to light the rooms,
his cold floors and windows were not anticipating their warmth.

The first time you kiss him he will turn away,
deny the touch he has long since deemed impossible.
Try again, be gentle.
Hold his hand in yours and squeeze until he softens.
Once his body realizes you are safe he will
unravel into your arms.

The first time he is in your bed
he will be unable to focus.
Move slowly and do not rush.
Keep his attention and show his body
that your touch is trustworthy,
that his skin has no reason to be afraid.

2


The first time he touches your scars
do not tremble,
remember that the desire is mutual this time,
that neither one of you is an unwilling party.
The dents left in your skin have had time to heal,
you are letting yourself relax
because he does not need to
to be the one to sew you back together.

The first time you undress for him make eye contact.
Do not let your hesitation show.
His touch is not tainted this time, unhealthy,
your skin deserves his fingerprints.

The first time you make love,
you close your eyes anticipating the
discomfort and flashbacks you are accustomed to.
You prepare for your disassociation,
but his breath and kiss and hands do not feel uninvited.
You can open your eyes
without cringing for the first time.

3


When you realize that this is your first real intimacy
just as much as it is his,
hold him closer than you had planned.
Let him hold you as much
as his warehouse walls need to,
melt into his arms.

Light your fingertip lanterns,
fill him so that neither one of you
feels empty and barren again.

Smile and relax,
you are home now.

​

Nina Belen Robins is a poet and grocery store employee. She lives with her husband and cats. She is the author of the poetry books “Supermarket Diaries”, “A Bed with my Name on It” and forthcoming “T. Gondii” and can be found at www.ninabelenrobins.com.

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