Interview with Singer-Songwriter Heidi Spencer

           Heidi Spencer's music comes from a place where truth is held to light, sorrows are taken to task, and longings find the names that they were looking for. In the dark stretch of all that is innefable and always on the move in a life, songs, like bright markers in a heavy storm, reveal a bend in the road we didn't see coming, a detour through ourselves, back to what we already knew but almost forgot. "I'm on the verge of something true," Heidi sings in Sleeping Next to a Diamond, and much of her songs shimmer with the light that comes through those Leonard Cohen "cracks in the wall", the stuff of resilency, of soldiering on, both touching and touched by the world. But not everything is a metaphor, some things just are.
      Here Heidi talks about her childhood, the bond of sisters through song, laughter-discovery, the early sense of place and memory, kitchen tables  and a journey which comes with no map, that confounding, ever evolving place between life and creativity.



AHC: What has this journey, this life in music, so far, been like for you, the highs and the lows, and what life lessons do you feel you've picked up along the way?

Heidi: this life in music has been a long continuing story with no finite end, and no distinct beginning. there were things that broke me, sounds that fixed me, people that kept me afloat and boxes that collected me. some magic happened. some madness passed. questions were big, answers were little. I didn't release a record til I was 27 and i made 4.  highs and lows usually happen in my mind... the highest is usually immediately after a performance, the lowest is usually when i feel stuck with writing going nowhere. that's where I am now, to be honest. 

LIFE LESSONS: dear resilience. consistency is a myth. don't get comfortable. get a grip. I don't fit in, and that's ok. possibilities are not endless. impossibilities don't exist. opportunity doesn't knock, it slips in and out through windows now and again. the door is always open. don't get stuck in other peoples ruts. trust your instinct. your instinct sometimes burns. stay tuned. sit in the sun while it's shining. 


AHC: What first drew you to music and what was your early musical environment like growing up? Were there pivotal songs for you then that just floored you the moment you heard them?

Heidi: Here is a picture of what my early musical environment looked like, i guess it's probably what drew me...

my dad used to turn on a mic, press record on the old cassette player and let me and my sister loose... we entertained ourselves for hours. i still have many of the tapes, they are hysterical. we sing, tell stories, and i cry a lot. you can learn a lot about sibling dynamics 30 years later. 

early pivotal songs: dolly parton singing anything. she was my childhood idol. 


AHC: Do you remember the first song that you ever wrote?

Heidi: no. i remember a few lines of my earliest, and they are all terrible.  

I do distinctly remember singing one of my sister llysa's earliest songs- she was probably 7 so i was probably 4 or 5. we were skipping along milwaukee's east side on the way to or from the "kinder cinema," one sunday late 1970's (kinder cinema was every sunday afternoon at the UWMilwaukee  theater- they played all the original disney films)    anyway- her song went  "little bird, little bird, with your wing, and your beautiful song to sing..." you can't hear the melody by reading this, but it's still clear in my mind- I wonder if i'll be like my grandma maggie (my dad's mother) at 92. she couldn't remember details of her life clearly, but remembered verses of "oh, susana" and "oh my darling, clementine" I had never heard of. music has some amazing impact on memory, i think. 

AHC: Who are some of your musical inspirations? Which musicians have you learned the most from?

Heidi: My biggest musical inspirations happened from 15-19 years old- (except of course Dolly).
Cyndi Lauper. Edie Brickell, Tracy Chapman. Joni Mitchell. No one since those formative years has had a direct influence on me. But admittedly, I tried to emulate all 4 of those women. 

I still don't listen to much music, and i'm not embarrassingly not well-versed. i can tell you a FEW of MANY of who/what i love- not even my favorites, just things i love love love and could listen to 60 times in row. 

Martha Wainwright- Factory
Townes Van Zandt- anything (especially Kathleen)
Amalia Rodriques
Otis Redding- anything (especially These Arms of Mine) 
Ruth Etting's version of Shine on Harvest Moon
listening to anything on 78 records
The Walkmen- While I Shovel the Snow

AHC: What do you think makes for a good song, as you're writing and composing, is there a sudden moment when you know you've found the right mix, that perfect angle of light, so to speak?

Heidi: As a listener, I guess it's a good song if it makes you move- be it physically, emotionally or otherwise. 

I have no idea what makes for a good song as far as writing one...  1/2 my songs don't even have a chorus, and my meter is strange. 

when I'm writing, there is sometimes a moment, and it is indeed sudden- and it is hard to explain. it's sort of like when something feels slightly different. i'm not a great guitar player, and that's how I write, so it's a random trial and error, and once in awhile there's a measure when the words, melody and meter match differently than other times, and I recognize the newness (no one else would, cause some people think my songs sound exactly alike) and that inspires me....  then there's something about the structure after that-  but i can't get to the structure without that one strange measure or 2 happening out of the blue.  when i'm lucky enough to finish a song, my band (the rare birds) bring it to life.  i don't even know how it really happened- all those songs.


AHC: Do you consider music to be a type of healing art, the perfect vehicle through which to translate a feeling, a state of rupture, hope lost and regained? Does the writing and creating of the song save you in the kinds of ways that it saves us, the listener?

Heidi: "healing art" is different than "healing" or "art," to me. so i'll say no to "Do you consider music to be a type of healing art"

I know music did help heal me- from what, i'm not even sure. 
I do consider myself an artist. how pompous. 

I never sought out to have a sad sound- that's just what I sound like. bill curtis (my drummer and engineer) always said that my sad songs could make a sad person well again, because after listening to one of my records, they'd say, "man, it ain't that bad."  and I know it's happened. but I, personally, do not feel like my songs are sad- it's just that's the way I sound. I could sing, "whatever it is I think I see becomes a tootsie roll to me," and it just sounds sad. 

there is one story I love the most, and it is one of the most profound things i've experienced musically: part of one of my songs, "I slept in cars" was on "car talk with click and clack," many years ago-   a man was driving in california listening to "car talk" as he did every sunday. the 8 lines or whatever from "i slept in cars" came on before a commercial break, and he pulled his car over and began to sob (I read that part on CDbaby under the 'why did you buy this record' question). anyway, years later, the man told me why he pulled over to cry- it was because the song sparked a memory of the night, years earlier, when his daughter passed away far too early, and he thought to himself, I wish I could drive you to where you need to go, but I can't...  it breaks my heart to this day. 

a different man heard the same song, in another state, during the same episode of car talk and purchased the song because he was a mathematician, and found the meter interesting. he was not emotionally invested as the other listener, but still there was some connection. 

my point is you just never know how someone will or will not be impacted by something you put out there, so while you're writing or creating something, there might be someone waiting for it, and you don't know why, and neither do they. 


AHC: What are your fondest musical memories? In your house? In your neighborhood or town? On-tour, on-the-road?

Heidi: Kitchen tables. my first show. stopping randomly in the middle of the Arizona desert and recording with my sister in the early 90's, still having those recordings. growing up in my early 20's at open mics and other early recording experiences, still tucked in a box. my first and only nashville recording experience when I was 25. meeting bill curtis. finding bill sleeping with his drums on the floor of the train in the middle of the night on the way to New York. meeting jesse thayer. watching her be lifted up by a stranger on the ferry ride to ireland. recording the shorecrest hotel records, and having the luxury of knowing all those players who came in and out. recording the boston loft record. every show- looking back, even the worst ones. my first trip to England. the show in Sweden. the show in Norway. actually- the opportunity to go to europe at all was my greatest dream come true. and it was music to get me there, and those lucky stars I will not mention here, but i hope they know how much i thank them. when rehearsals still happen. any reason to see my band in the same room.  too much- 25 years-  i haven't even scratched the surface on this question.  repeat: kitchen tables.

AHC: Do you have any words of advice for other musicians and singer-songwriters out there who are just starting out and trying to find their voice and their way in this world?

Heidi: Welcome!! be yourself. be natural. be humble. be open to other songwriters and embrace them- power in numbers, not in egos. be a positive influence. no one is for everybody, so understand that some people are critical and you should not take it to heart. you are not alone in this world, even if you feel like you are. allow the sound waves you make to travel. and honestly? have a good time. music feels good. embrace it. 

AHC: Do you have any new projects in the works you'd like to tell people about?

Heidi:I'm very idle right now, I'm afraid. but thank you for these questions, so I could sit and remember things... and maybe just when I thought I might be done, you remind me I'm still here.



Visit www.heidispencerandtherarebirds.com/

Things I Remember Golden by Heidi Spencer and the Rare Birds can be purchased here www.cdbaby.com/cd/heidispencerandtherarebi


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