Poetry by Aly Gerdes

               ​R. Miller CC



Pink Necrosis

spring is always the hardest for me. 
 
from the first bloom breaks the onslaught of memories.

i see my friend in San Francisco - crawling, squirming along the streets. shaved heads and roller skates in hand. searching for the next high. veins begging for that needle-point and lips yearning for a cig.

i hear my ex-lover in Denver - crying, the walls are rumbling. he’s silently screaming, demons winning. in the mirror, he sees someone he doesn’t recognize. begging and pleading for the night to retreat; sunrise draws near. he told me he didn’t drink. he doesn’t drink at parties.
                                            
my old roommate from Boston - wanting a simple life. jobless, she’s on hiatus and staying in the basement. her sweet soul can’t take it. too much ambition; she’s restless. choking on zoloft and tap water. living on celery and the scent of pie.

an ex-brother lives in Seattle - no bed frame, just a boyfriend: black hair, black lungs, smoking weed for clout. popping pills on their nights out. orange bottles house prescriptions that are abused. kicking rocks and rolling joints. 

in Ashland - an art student I always admired and never told, they have a garden full of fruit and a wife to keep warm. in Nashville, their musician sister, a kitten and a full-length record. 

an acquaintance from Texas, Canada, AZ, and Cali: his face is warn from the internal war he’s been waging. since he was 14. moving around. scared and alone. the track marks appeared around twenty-fifteen. he’s clean now, but hanging by a thread as northern-southern polar storms hurricane his head. bushels of blond hair separate him from the crowd. i called last night; his dad said he was out. 

my first real highschool friend. long black locks and a heart of gold. i don’t remember what movie we saw, but i remember what i saw in her knapsack. thick amber serum,and white round pebbles. the far away look in her eyes. she’s back at home now. 

spring is always the hardest for me.

i’m here.
​



Aly is currently in senior standing at Sonoma State University where she is studying English Literature and education in preparation for graduate school and her future career in academia. Aly considers herself a jack of all trades as she is a musician, a powerlifter, and a writer while also investing time into roller skating and studio art. Aly’s work has been published in The Flux Magazine, and the REVIVAL Zine at SSU. She also has recently self-published a book called Open Letter.
​