5/8/2018 1 Comment Poetry By Amy AlexanderHow Do You Feel at the Moment? Like I’ve got nothing to lose or at least nothing that would devastate, I feel a feast in my kitchen, and also, like I have to hide the one thing that would stop my heart. I tried never to think about the bones on hungry pavement I hear it’s called anxiety, I just thought I was bent to expect the worst, something about coming from an alcoholic family, it’s a turnabout to the American Dream, instead of expecting to rise, it’s falling that’s your focus, and the prize is a lot of material for writing a poem, a lot of things to say about how not to build a home What Do You Need More of in Your Life? This one is a tweet, or a cute update even when the number one sense in me is to hate a slice of cake I frosted by myself “I need more of this in my life!” writes the MILF, that’s mother I’d like to do, I don’t say that word, I just think it a lot, these days, I flirt with all the things I’m not supposed to say, my Mormon mom’s not here, anyway, to tell me to say fudge, instead, or heck, then why do I feel her hands around my neck? “I need more of this in my life!” a cute outfit I want to fit into, I write, and not the real shit List All Your Small Victories and Successes In the carpet forest, a copper shoe, paper flowers pressed with glue, a Smurf, with stethoscope in the air, a fan that moves in the sun’s stark glare, strawberry dolls with sweet shampoo, ceramic rabbits and a random clue to the spot on the mountain where my brother hides porn, and whiskey and Halloween candy corn, seed beads and safety pins in a jar for sixth grade friends, a foil star from staying still when I wanted to run a tiny victory parade for a girl who’s never won What Would Make You Happy Right Now? My heart keeping its head down, doing the work it’s supposed to be up to, a coordinated jerk that moves my aired up blood to my brain helps me think straight so I don’t have to feign that I’m okay, a heart that doesn’t threaten to jump out at everyone like a bloody alien baby with a hump whipping down Alien tunnels to cause corporate trouble, really, I’m happy to be laying low, the crumble not happening today, not right here, right now, maybe later, but I’ve been taught not to crowd my thoughts with what I'll be able to do tomorrow, or not, if my heart leaves, and the rest of my organs follow What is Going Right in Your Life? At the job interview, I couldn’t really say that surviving childhood was, far and away, my single greatest accomplishment to date, and what I need to know, now, as I struggle to intubate my real voice, and start saying what I really want, is why that went down as the single worst thing I could invent, the worst response from a bad candidate. The list, of course, of prizes for bad branding goes on for miles, the world is demanding and walking away from a kidnapper and not dying is, in no way, an accomplishment. No resume needs that trigger, and being alive is no Cum Laude Bio: Amy Alexander has been published or has work upcoming in several journals, including Quarterly West, The Cream City Review, The Coil, Cease, Cows, and a special book project from Likely Red Press.
1 Comment
Stacey
5/9/2018 06:07:05 am
Oh Amy! Spectacular! I feel you and see you so much in every word.
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