12/2/2021 Poetry by Danielle Garland Tony Webster CC My worry practices knowing all the ways I will lose you A blade slicing your best tattoo in half / A bullet through your mouth / A belt along your throat / A breath held so long it becomes not-breath / Your blood emptying into trash bin or bathtub or gravel lot / The wrong number of hours alone / A tongueful of sedatives / A five dollar six-pack and a cheek of Grizzly mint pouches / A quick drive off the Blue Ridge Parkway / Don’t we always laugh at the railings there / so low, so impotent / Maybe it will be the flames behind you / Or maybe something you do not choose / On a day you are whole, blood-full, breathing / A foot on too-slick ground / Your leaking heart / A jolt and a twisting of metal / Why are there always more ways to lose you than to keep you here / And what counts as here anyway / Are you still here, bathed in a deep ache / Held by pillows and darkened rooms / My worry, always looking for your absence / My worry, always holding my breath, always nudging me to search for you / Even as we are together, buried in laughter / My worry, always fighting to keep itself alive / Rhododendron Winter When you find your branches indolent and brittle; when you have forgotten colors other than tan, beige, gray, ash; when you find your sense of wilt and decay heightened; know there is always something under the dead, the sleeping, the empty handed. You must only decide to seek it. Scramble to that adequate elevation, where roots cling like regrets to the mountain. Wait for that precise angle of light, when the sun is neither accusing nor neglectful. Wait, breath held, to find illuminated what has been thriving beneath all along. Something forever wax-leaf glittering in the sun. Danielle Garland (she/her) is based in southern Appalachia where she strives to love freely and live slowly (and to strive less). You can find her adventures in poetry and in the woods on IG @_daniellegarland Comments are closed.
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