Poetry By Effie Pasagiannis

The Sunflower

I woke up to a
long frost. So
I escaped the crowd
only to find it skimming
the stalls of
stuck together pages
where some stood pretending to
read what was for sale.
Somewhere between the pit
of the solitary bits
of me,
between those
stuck together
pages, I
found your
trace in the screen of the
faraway nearby.
The void returned, one
which I thought would
bleed me dry,
the flakes of a first
snow, soft, then compact
blackened as big heaps
piled on to more
on street corners.
There, I caught a
glimpse among the
tall stalks
at golden hour,
an obsidian sunflower,
face down,
over a pavement of
colored chalk,
pretty pink and baby blue,
of another flower,
painted on where
children could
hop and skip along
to the other side
of innocence.




Navigating Silence

Beyond binary opposites,
the noise of corrosive dissent,
there exists the limitless
and the sublime

mass contained in the now
is freedom in lava flow,
seeping into bedrock
forming reveries of basalt

while mountains of rage recede,
frame after frame of flitting light
melding into calcite white,
glacial blue, volcanic black,
interwoven valleys of flickering gems
all within grasp –

if only you’d listen to this stillness
of time lacking presence, if only

you’d listen to the prescient void
of heaviness in light, if only

you’d listen to the silence of landscape,
of sound stretched to its ultimate end,

drifting on vastness of smoky water,
mist rising into the glimmering sky above, if only

you’d listen to centuries of floating breath,
domed echo-chambers of everything and nothing, if only

you’d listen

just listen…

it’s the crack in the stones I brought home

listen…

it’s solitude delivered on a black sand beach,
it’s a wish in a sculpture garden one afternoon

listen…

it’s where hopes stand erect
on the edge of heaven and space

listen…

its the sound of surrender

listen…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..




My Name is Melancholy

If I come back again they will call me Melancholy
because I’ll remember everything you won’t

I’ll remember the way the leaves brushed against me
as I looked into your eyes and the endless sea beyond,

I’ll remember the sound of cicadas hidden in the trees
that you pointed out,

I’ll remember the taste of fig and white wine
as we sat on the edge of a Grecian hill for one more sunset,

I’ll remember the ecstasy caught between sheets
in that loft high above 15th street between 7th and 8th,

I’ll remember the letting go in the mountains
and a missed concert in the woods somewhere upstate,

I’ll remember the gold shoes I wore, Goldie-locks you said,
with tears only I could understand,

I’ll remember standing over you and the stream of salty water
running down your beautiful face as I gasped for air,

I’ll remember the melody as you played the charango
in that room with the sound of Incan streams below,

I’ll remember your cold hands on my feverish forehead
every hour on the hour making sure I did not fade away,

I’ll remember you lying next to me reading excerpts from
Escape from Freedom and how that kept me awake,

But Melancholy is not static or linear, so

I’ll remember the look in your eyes as you stared down at a black & white
of your young mother sitting on your young father’s lap before the split,

I’ll remember when restlessness knocked on your door and the sound
of you sipping yet another whiskey ginger,

I’ll remember the porcelain cups I bought from that little shop on the island
now trapped in your cupboard in Chelsea to be held by some unknowing other,
I’ll remember the vultures circling above us on the cliffs of Lima
and the way you touched me in that artist’s home before saying I love you just that once,

I’ll remember the words the night before, sharp cutting stones
and the blow and the subsequent ache the morning after,

I’ll remember how you stood a bit taller and more assured
each time another distraction looked your way,

I’ll remember the phone by your bedside always on vibrate,
screen face down, always face down,

I’ll remember your hands hardening, a viking’s mark,
and the deep pale corridors replacing your blue eyes,

I’ll remember the chill of cascading profanity
and my silent cries on bathroom floors,

I’ll remember the driver running after me with the jacket I’d left in the back seat
saying it’s ok, it’s ok, please let her be, it’s ok,

I’ll remember how you always walked two steps ahead in the dead of winter coming,
then five steps ahead on the 14th of February of ’16,

I’ll remember your two guitars and the sheet music lying around,
accusations for wasted time and for the hero you hadn’t become,

I’ll remember the last meal I made, the empty bottle of red
and the tray of left-overs in the fridge for weeks thereafter,

I’ll remember sinking into the mattress, drenched in six hour tears,
searching for meaning and coming back empty,

I’ll remember the words a month later, digital like you,
how you said love is relative, something about fear and freedom and loss of,

I’ll remember finding an out and how I took it
and ran and ran until there was no place left to run to,

I’ll remember months of showers in fur-flung corners of the world,
memories melting and spiraling down hotel room drains,

Melancholy remembers everything,
the taste of being out of breath,
the coming into and falling out of .

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Effie Pasagiannis is a first generation Greek-American lawyer, writer and curator based in New York City. Effie's poetry has been featured in Snapdragon Journal, the Write Launch, Platform Review, and the inaugural print publication of Pen + Brush, a 125-year nonprofit supporting female writers and artists. Effie has appeared as a featured poet at the Bowery Poetry Club, Arlo Hotels, The Assemblage and Pen + Brush. She is currently working on a collection of short stories with female protagonists at a crossroads of choice. One of these stories was recently featured in the September 2018 issue of The Feminine Collective. As a curator, Effie brings together writers and other artists to collaborate and showcase their work in soul-nourishing spaces. She is an avid proponent of personal transformation and an advocate for educational, criminal justice, immigration and environmental reform.