11/1/2018 Poetry By F. J. BergmannAcolyte from Love, Kelli Hoppmann, oil on panel, 2014 They told her the smoke would totally change her, “mess with her head,” and then they all giggled. She had been careful to wear the mandatory uniform: torn jeans, low-cut blouse, the crown of invisible brambles, the absence of a smile. When was a tree not a tree? When it was in a forest. They gave her a bloodstained robe, and she put it on, already adrift in fumes festooning the air with furtive tongues. For hours she floated in a sky the color of a blue- green algal bloom. Soon they would ask her to invest in the black pyramid, to drink pomegranate juice from a lead-crystal goblet, to choose the shape in which she wished to manifest. Her new skull will have prongs, mispronounced ridges, and far more effective teeth. Affluence from The Artist and the Arbiter, Kelli Hoppmann, oil on panel, 2014 You met him at the hunt ball. Neither of you wore pink. He chatted easily of warmbloods, silver flasks, stone walls. He smiled all the time, showing teeth white as high powder. You had borrowed the tails that didn’t fit, buttoning your vest to hide a stain on your ruffled shirt. You longed for style, security, and affection, for which sex was a nearly adequate substitute. All of which would be withheld in due course. He owned stakes winners, played polo, belonged to exclusive clubs within clubs, as if his life were a filigree ornament at the center of nested Fabergé eggs, jeweled and golden. Even the bathrooms of his summer residence were art museums. He stayed up all night, scenting the air for new diversions, and you did your best to keep up. But you drew the line when he snorted them until most of his nasal septum was eaten away. And then he discovered what it took to put him to sleep. He makes such an elegant ghost. Delicacy from Pink, Kelli Hoppmann, oil on panel, 2014 You have scales instead of skin, a rosebud where a heart should be, an insatiable hunger that won’t let you observe without analysis, anatomization, butchery. All you need is a stainless steel table and a knife so sharp you could sever your own hands, almost painlessly, with its invisible blade. You don’t know what it is about the fine details that fascinate you, but you have always believed that an autopsy is more important than a remedy, intensified your focus on relationships that are over. Something about love makes you want to dissect it until it has been reduced to sublime molecules that you have no further use for. Something about hope makes you take it apart, feather by feather. Fetch after Sisters, Kelli Hoppmann, oil on panel, 2014 Everyone has a demon twin about whom they tell no one. Your mother must have known, you are sure, but she flitted from party to party, decade to decade; occasionally, gently nudged by that fourth glass of Malbec, she mumbled about how some things just didn’t work out and at least they had you. By then you were going to parties yourself, sometimes in nothing but pallor and tresses, glowing with the fumes of liquid skies. You can’t tell whether trees are dead as long as you only look down at the roots, careful not to consider shadows cast by empty branches. Your mother said that you would eventually find yourself, and for once she was right: you did, in a black-light-filled room that could as easily have been a mirror. Your other half wore a skull for a face, and all the haggard sophistication you had longed for. It smiles with its empty sockets. “My, what a lovely … dress,” it says slyly, looking anywhere but at you. F. J. Bergmann edits poetry for Mobius: The Journal of Social Change (mobiusmagazine.com), and imagines tragedies on or near exoplanets. She has competed at National Poetry Slam as a member of the Madison, WI, Urban Spoken Word team. Her work appears irregularly in Abyss & Apex, Analog, Asimov's SF, and elsewhere in the alphabet. A Catalogue of the Further Suns won the 2017 Gold Line Press poetry chapbook contest and the 2018 SFPA Elgin Chapbook Award. 8/29/2019 12:43:27 pm
I was teased into clicking on your pic on the heroin.chic site. A poet had suggested I might try to publish there so was researching. I won't bother you with the questions I want to ask, , , ,unless you really want me to , , , ,but was glad to read that you call what you write 'Poetry' as I am unsure if what I write should be called that or not. 'Cuz peop sometimes wonder. And I am sensitive. Anyway, thanks for sharing your work online. Comments are closed.
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