2/5/2018 Poetry by Gervanna Gravity StephensWhat I mean when I say good morning I mean I’m fine because that is the only response you want to hear. I mean the nights are too long, but sometimes the sun shines too brightly. I mean I wish you weren’t here I mean I wish I wasn’t here, mostly, I just mean thank you for not leaving me alone. When I say good morning, I mean leave me alone now you’ve gotten your pleasantries. I’m here. I mean maybe if I say it long enough I will believe it. I mean I’m a lie. I’m all things not good. I’m a bomb awaiting detonation and if you repeat more than the pleasantries I might explode. I mean early mornings are not my thing. I mean my insomnia is my only friend and I’m sleep deprived, hard cold exterior. I mean I haven’t had my coffee yet sugar, no milk I’m the dregs left in the pot I’m the blackest harshest taste you will savor. I mean I’m trying even though I would rather be anywhere else but here, hallowed shell of my ancestors and the politeness I was taught. I mean I’m fading when I say I am fine, but I say good morning and I guess your smiling response means maybe you are fine too? never more and nothing now Your selfishness grew sticks without leaves, and it never occurred to me that they kept me in and you free My protection was never a serene countryside it was a barren space and now that you do not pick up after midnight, well at all really, I realize I was always alone in this love an untrained farmer trying to till soil that exhausted its purpose trying to push against my pull There is nothing left to do here. Oh the Likelihood of a Good Time And if I am to fail, I will remember that success is only a construct, failure was made up and the finality of it all revolves around me. Beginning again is beautiful, and maybe the world doesn’t burn in the winter though it is reborn in the spring. I have never experienced snow, but I can imagine its allure-- all white, all privilege; all conquering element to the land. And if I am to fail, I will be diligent in the downfall, hold steady to rungs and not beat myself up at the hands of a too big ego fallen. Beginning is never only once, for all the fairytales leak evidence of happily ever afters despite the villains. I have yet to meet the prince, but I can imagine the draw-- tall, perfect hair, power come to rob me of my maiden hood? And if I am to fail, I will do so on bended knees sending prayers up to the moon its silent steady glory a constant night’s watch. Beginning is endless a day to day transience And if I am to fail, at trying again at loving the sky’s darkness the sun’s warmth the beginner’s roots I will remember that forever lasts as long as the night a subjective silence opinionated effervescence I can close my eyes objectively imagine that failure is beginning. ![]() Bio: Gervanna Gravity Stephens is a Jamaican born spoken word artist who sees the world in aliens, spies and Hogwarts houses. She dabbles in education, photography, public speaking and a little graphic design, for creation at heart includes everything! Tweets @gravitystephens Comments are closed.
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