Poetry by Gervanna Gravity Stephens

​What I mean when I say good morning

I mean I’m fine
because that is the only response you want to hear.
I mean the nights are too long, but
sometimes the sun shines too brightly.
I mean I wish you weren’t here
I mean I wish I wasn’t here,
mostly, I just mean thank you for not leaving me alone.

When I say good morning,
I mean leave me alone now
you’ve gotten your pleasantries. I’m here.
I mean maybe if I say it long enough I will believe it. I mean I’m a lie.
I’m all things not good. I’m a bomb awaiting detonation
and if you repeat more than the pleasantries I might explode.

I mean early mornings are not my thing.
I mean my insomnia is my only friend
and I’m sleep deprived, hard cold exterior.
I mean I haven’t had my coffee yet
sugar, no milk
I’m the dregs left in the pot
I’m the blackest harshest taste you will savor.

I mean I’m trying
even though I would rather be anywhere else but here,
hallowed shell of my ancestors
and the politeness I was taught.
I mean I’m fading when I say I am fine,
but I say good morning 
and I guess your smiling response means 
maybe you are fine too?




never more and nothing now

Your selfishness grew sticks without leaves, 
and it never occurred to me that they kept me in and you free

My protection was never a serene countryside
it was a barren space and now that you do not pick up after midnight, well at all really, 
I realize I was always alone in this love
an untrained farmer trying to till soil that exhausted its purpose trying to push against my pull

There is nothing left to do here.




Oh the Likelihood of a Good Time

And if I am to fail, 
I will remember that success is only a construct, 
failure was made up and the finality 
of it all revolves around me.

Beginning again is beautiful, and
maybe the world doesn’t burn in the winter
though it is reborn in the spring.
I have never experienced snow, but
I can imagine its allure--
all white, all privilege;
all conquering element to the land.

And if I am to fail,
I will be diligent in the downfall,
hold steady to rungs and
not beat myself up at the hands
of a too big ego fallen.

Beginning is never only once, 
for all the fairytales leak evidence of 
happily ever afters despite the villains.
I have yet to meet the prince,
but I can imagine the draw--
tall, perfect hair, power come to rob
me of my maiden hood?

And if I am to fail,
I will do so on bended knees
sending prayers up to the moon
its silent steady glory a constant 
night’s watch.

Beginning is endless
a day to day transience

And if I am to fail, 
at trying again
at loving the sky’s darkness
the sun’s warmth
the beginner’s roots

I will remember 
that forever lasts as long as the night
a subjective silence
opinionated effervescence 
I can close my eyes 
objectively imagine that
failure is beginning.

​

Bio: Gervanna Gravity Stephens is a Jamaican born spoken word artist who sees the world in aliens, spies and Hogwarts houses. She dabbles in education, photography, public speaking and a little graphic design, for creation at heart includes everything! Tweets @gravitystephens

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