Poetry by Jamie Swanson

                               ​M I T C H Ǝ L L CC



Y’all knew, don’t act surprised

Y’all all knew
And you forced me
into stagnation, now here 
I can’t stop moving, like a river
Undammed.
It’s not always safe
but I trust the shifting Earth 
to guide me to rest

To find wounds air to breathe
Ripping open still in need
of fertile soil, and good water,
drainage and sunlight
They’ll seal, scar, and come to nourish
in life / in dirt
a spirit still / moving so completely
yet remaining slight, simple, and aimless

My body continues, craves and desires
I am growing
Into some body
This body of bodies--

And no I’m not gay
And no I’m not bi
And yeah I’m still in your alphabet soup
And yes I like sports
And no I don’t wear jewelry
And yes I wear make-up
I like lip stick, but I don’t wear mascara
Because my lashes already look    divine    / and I
Don’t really do eye liner ‘cause my hands are shaky
So I get my FRIENDS to HELP me 
‘Cause they’re kind and beautiful
… oh so so beautiful
(thank y’all)

And yes I wear stockings, dresses, skirts,
jeans, tees, hats, no hats, heels, sneakers,
boots, sandals,
And yes I cook
Yes I clean
And no I’m no more or less of a nurturer
No more or less of a protector
Or a teacher
Or a rationalirrational thinker
just because of my biology

For I am /precisely\
That which my biology and 
its chemical processes create,
which is fucking queer and excitable and
oftentimes, sad

And yes I’m buying a glock-19 
for when the transphobes and white supremacists thrust
them selves
further into fearful rage

​



OOOOOOHHHHHH I DANCE
​
I dance like an animal / in my own stink!
erotic craving and courting
I repeat / but no one movement / is ever the same
When I dance       I disappear
I see myself       When I dance
I can scream and hold and cradle
and comfort, give and / Then
I can take and force and break
and grind and wait and search
The next beat comes and I shake
tremble, grimace, and smile,
riding waves with my feet firmly planted

When I dance I bear 
witness to miracles / eyes closed
miracles in sound / the vibrations that shake us all
From the heavens and the skies / From the earth
Shadow / and Light
into bodies
and into mine
back out again
Riot / and Rest
I travel and never leave home
and where I stray / the beat comes
in sanity and confusion
I make it dirty and sensual
tear-jerking, lip-biting, fear-shirking, eyes-lighting
—My body is aglow--
Then I breathe / and I wait / for the next beat
to speak and listen and listen and listen
and shake! to feel still in a world always trembling

It starts with breath
Air into lungs and gut / to break out
in shoulder rolls and pops
a back arched and caved
in hips winding / beckoning and waving
unwavered thighs and feet stand
at the root / mobilized
into something spiritual
into the ones / who give breath
the oneness / who is breath
they who takes my open hands
and spins me, 
one moment into many
If it’s a flirtatious twirl 
or a stumbled foray into confusion
I could never know / but I will materialize
hips grinding and hands / open asking for more
Mind / and Body
beckoning breath, beating full of life
laughing and lusting as gods,
control lost, never to be wanted for again

​

For several years, Jamie (they/them) has been writing as a source of healing and therapy.  Writing has made stronger their connection with the natural world, spirituality, political struggle, and their body. Currently, Jamie writes in a number of styles and plays music while earning money in the service industry and freelancing. Some of their work has been published in the Virginia Bards Central Review.

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