Poetry by Jeff Finlin

                           Alexander Rabb CC



​
The Tantric CO-MOtiOn Of
PaRVati On I-75                                       

Bouncing down the road in the dump truck
Filled with
longing
and desire
and the waste
of a life accumulated
I blow through the stop signs
Onto the on ramp
Cigarette dangling
Rifling through the channels
On nowhere radio
There’s nothing on
That spurs any interest
Or makes any motion inside...
Just old news and weather
the only co-motion I hear is the splash
in the wake
of that shit toss overboard
along the way
being burned up by the sun
on the slash pile of
existence itself.....

Still....
It’s all by default really
If ya find yourself on this train
In this truck
In this wave
Be for-warned
Ya can’t really get off
Lest the business undone
Will still haunt you
All the time
The ghost comes in
At first
In ways we don’t understand
To open doors along the way
In everything we do...
In a word from the waitress
In a messages in your eggs
In the weight
That is the guilt
Written in
A letter
in the morning news
on a wall
in a stall
Scrawled in a book
That you happen to open up
To a random page
that reveals her song
vibrating in a word
that triggers a voice
From a passerby
Anonymous
Marked by circumstance
That is serendipity
Masked as coincidence
Marking your place
Until you realize
After some time
That it’s just a match been lit
That fires a torch
That lights this path
that you walk
Until you are...
empty enough
light enough
to be received on through.....

And then she shows up
Framed by God-speak
As this living flame of love
That resides
In the center of yourself
To expose this delightful wound
With her loving touch
she caresses
and expresses
and kills it
All at the same time
And if grace continues to befall you
Where ego would most often take hold
To close the wound
and you remain open
In spite of yourself.....
You both enter the space together
at the edge of town
where the sunrise becomes the night
And the “I” becomes a “We”
and it’s so unexplainably beautiful
as it walks through you
and down the hall
through the bedroom
expressing itself
as this distance
coming inside
together
that is everything
befalling itself
as grace

And she becomes
your beloved
That is just phenomena itself
Swirling inside
as fuel
and
fire
becoming

​



And I Let You Go

And now
Just as
Then
and there
I let you go

I give you back
and watch you sail
out from the clutches
of my heart
to the heavens
to a moment
that gave you back
to me
uncertain again
as if you
were never
and
would never
be a possibility
of greater proportion
other than the now...

And as if by magic
There were the horses
In their coats
All brown and thick
There along the fences
standing in the meadows
They had been there all along
though I had not been able to see them

A man said hello
in the morning light
and you could hear the silence
reverberate around him

And the rocks were there too
red like southern clay
against the sagebrush
all twisted and worn by the wind
and my skin was dry
in that air
and I reached out
for it
to touch it
as if for the first time
as I had not been able
to feel myself
in it for some time
as I was too busy
Trying to hold on to yours

And my hands
once again
Touching the wheel
Let go
And the road it started to unwind
From its knot
Of petroleum and gravitational pull
Just like before
Just like that
And I rode through
and into it
and in between
and the sky was so blue
and the snowflakes sparkled
and danced in that light
above the reservoir
that was
no longer frozen in time
and unmoving
in my mind

I did not
have
to try
and see it
it was just there

And looking out from the reservoir
and down below
I saw my town again
as if for the first time
the waterline
on the opposite shore
told me
right then and there
that there would be enough
but only
if I gave you back some more
and I did
again
and
again
right there
and I saw you go
in a certain way
flying
the halo over your face
had the breath of springtime
flying away from me
to reveal the circle of itself
and as if by magic
I saw where I had been living
and the stone on the floors
and
my things
were there
exactly where I had left them
the day I gave it all
the day I took you
as mine

I saw the park appear
where I had walked
and the flowers
and words
and I looked out my window
and I saw the construction again
of my own heart
I saw the prairie
And emptiness
As it rolled out
and it had a voice
that spoke
in a billions shades of yellow
and brown and white
On a cracked earth
That was my body
That had been recycled
Over and over again
Throughout the grace of ages corroding here

And I could see your hands
And watch your gate
And I remembered the awkwardness
and saw it as it was
and not what it could be
I wasn’t afraid
and I wasn’t missing
anything
anymore
everything was one
And for the first time I could say
I love you
and know what it meant
because it was not just here
it was everywhere
and in everyone
in my movement
and the gift of myself
even though I didn’t
know it
as mine
it was in the people
and I wrote it down

So only now
can I take my seat
in the gift
that is you

I’m here
In my town
Now
again
And I know they can give me so much
As I have so much to give
Now
Because I have given
you back

​



A Love So Contagious

There are these dreams that lay within us. They spit
and shimmer of something more. They rear there
ugly head as writing and folly and imagination and
hang themselves fool heartedly
as our consciousness
and our sex,
But really
it is only a fog laden in imaginary particles.
But then again--Who’s to say what is real and what is not?
It’s the dilemma
after the reality of ego gone under
We lay in the liquid jell that is the day to day.
In a dream
That is the impermanence undone.

So subtly it comes
As creation itself
I catch myself in the dream
Moving
Floating
Romancing stones
In the swirl of mad throngs and thongs
Writing my name in cement
My finger on the trigger
On camels in countries
Waving flags for something better
than our days of smiles and poses
And this love
that’s so contagious......

Then the fingers snap.
And the waiter barks at the waffle house chef
And I’m scattered, smothered, and covered--

Here in Wyoming the moon rolls over like some
giant golden God in front of my face. And I can
smell cigarette smoke in my clothes. The 18
wheeler grinds to a halt as the bacon fat smokes and
curls out of the roof to the great beyond. I walk
outside and get in the truck.
It is green.
The blacktop ....well....it’s black.
The fortune cookie from last night’s meal is sitting
on the dash. I think it was Moo Goo Gai Pan or
some shit like that. Her panties are still in the
passenger seat. After a knocking start, the truck
turns over and Commander Cody and his Lost
Planet Airmen come out of the speakers and roll out
into the parking lot –
“Mama Hated Diesels” clicks into “Lost in the
Ozone Again”
I
rolls out across the prairie
and Wyoming
out across oceans
and clouds
and numbers
out across a wonder so big and grand
and real
as to be uncomprehend-able.
I open the fortune cookie and it says

“The fortune you seek is in another cookie”

The fingers snap
And I am gone again......

​


​
Born in Cleveland Ohio, Songwriter and writer Jeff Finlin was born the grandson of Irish railroad workers (who seemed to be in the habit of leaping from trains.) Having released 12 records to critical acclaim around the world. His Song “Sugar Blue” was featured in The Cameron Crowe classic film-----“Elizabethtown.”

The Chicago Sun Times writes of Jeff Finlin--- “Finlin writes with the minimalist grit of Sam Shepard and Raymond Carver. Tune in for an elusive magic.”

Jeff has written two books of poetry and prose and a book on yoga and recovery.  He is putting the finishing touches on a second recovery book. He has written extensively for the East Nashville Magazine and been published nationally in American Songwriter, Elephant Journal, Huffington Post as well as the  other online rags.