Poetry by Jessie Epstein

           Christopher Sessums CC




Why I Write

I recently listened to Karl Ove Knausgard’s answer 
to this question with a guy I’ve loved for like eight years 
on hour seven of a ten hour drive. I don’t know why I
started that way. What I meant to say was Karl O talked about
what’s “inherently inexpressible,” what can never really be
understood in any of us by someone outside of us. 
Our chorus of groans at recognition precluded us from saying
anything too revealing. What could we say that we don’t 
already know? A lot, actually. Almost nothing between us
is clear. After Karl O finishes reading, and because I want 
to know, I ask him, “What do you think about when you’re alone?” 
“Music,” he replies, without hesitation. That’s not what I meant.
“Ah. You mean alone.” We spend the next three hours eating 
Frosties (one spoon), fielding calls from friends concerned that 
we haven’t arrived. We are taking the long way. I’m not his answer. 
I am his answer. He says we didn’t need to listen to Karl, that I said it 
better the other day in the kitchen: We are all walking around trying 
to write what we don’t know how to say. Well, yeah. 
That’s why I wrote it down. It being this, I mean. 

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​Jessie Epstein is an actor and writer based in Los Angeles. Her work has previously appeared in Ekstasis, Illinois’ Best Emerging Poets, and zines she has made for her friends’ birthdays. For more of her work, visit www.jessiegepstein.com, or find her on Instagram: @fabtablets.