4/1/2018 0 Comments Poetry by Kevin Ridgeway dcJohn CC
What I've Learned So Far i'm a weird guy obsessed with so many random, beautiful quirky mind-bent things i dig for and study endlessly in a lonesome tower of a vicarious life asking peculiar questions in class rooms and getting funny looks for the way I hold a fork in my trembling hand and the nervous awkward silence after she giggles at me in my skivvies for the first time before I belt out the words to The Greatest American Hero and avoid telling her that I'm a virgin for another month of slippery lies told with the shame of inexperience and useless information. Smile Until You're Alive Enough to Be Dead we sit on a curb where she tells me she's sick of it all and i think of how many times i've said that and tried to kill myself with the shit life keeps throwing at me with my mother's death, my father's third stage lung cancer, my legal troubles, being a stranger to the rest of my surviving family and being trapped in a no where, low income world of mental patients and my sad racing desperate sleepless thoughts missing out on all the good times while i look inside windows at five star hot spots where people my age smile without a care-- and i tell her i'm sick of it all enough to keep living in order to find out if i conquer any of this shit and be another of a thousand hero's faces who were all sick of it enough to get up from that curb and fight my way to the other side of that window to decide for myself if the joint has five-star cuisine or if the curb is the place to learn to smile without a care in this world as it slowly all burns away. BIO: Kevin Ridgeway lives and writes in Long Beach, CA. Recent work has appeared or is forthcoming in Slipstream, Chiron Review, Nerve Cowboy, Lummox, San Pedro River Review, The Cape Rock, Misfit Magazine and Cultural Weekly, among others. He is the author of seven chapbooks of poetry. The latest is A Ludicrous Split (co-authored alongside Gabriel Ricard) from Alien Buddha Press.
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