Poetry by Koss

                       Michael Spiller CC
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Max, Carrie’s Mother, [No Wonder]

Max / your death just got even worse / Carrie’s Mother arrived at your apartment / she’s talking about Jesus and telling everyone what to do / she says she’s got a direct line to God and apparently knows  

Max / Carrie’s Mother texts me Bible verses at 5:00 a.m. / I’ve hardly slept in days / don’t give a shit if the pillows are naughty, Max / I’m overwrought over you / something’s wrong with her, I believe  

Max / what Carrie’s Mother said about me when you talked on the phone / why did you leave your speaker on? / she never met me, but she’s got god tangled up in her head / her hair / her throat / and vagina / and you know mine’s a God-free zone / and she’s a homophobe / something’s wrong with Carrie’s Mother, Max / surely, you must have known  

Max / Carrie’s Mother called herself and Mr. Ed We / and I was something Other / not part of the straight girl club / even the horse belongs / she said you never ever loved a woman / I told her you loved seven / something is wrong with Carrie’s Mother, Max / whatever her heaven is, let’s not go there 

Max / you are three days dead with your body on lockdown by cops / your purse / your keys / your things / Carrie’s Mother accused me of stealing your allotment keys / this is shit I didn’t need / there’s something wrong with her 

Max / Carrie’s Mother’s eyes are wild / her hair, tangled ringlets / she gets excited, then angry / laughing and crying / then flinging her arms / no wonder the house burned down  

Max / Carrie’s Mother is interrogating me about your car / the tires I bought / I didn’t tell her why you didn’t talk about me / if she were smart, she would know / something’s wrong with her, Max / normal people don’t act like that / why is she even here?

Max / Carrie’s Mother side-dissed our relationship while reenacting sex and passion with her make-believe husband / three times / literally kissing and groping the air / she flung her head back like a drama queen / it made me queasy, Max / something is wrong with her / meanwhile, Mr. Ed made up with King Henry VIII over the phone / as if your suicide were some private agreement between them / yesterday she was going to kill him  

Max / what does a 45-year-old virgin know about love? / never mind / you are dead 

Max / Carrie’s Mother’s a smug mother-fucker / like no other Jesus thumper I’ve met / something’s wrong with her Max / I’ve packed up my bags and am headed to Manchester / King Henry’s laid claim to your body / I wonder how his new wife will arrange you in their home / I didn’t tell Carrie’s Mother what you said about your sleepovers / or why you became estranged / but I did text her “homophobe” / when I got to the hotel / sorry Max / you had to have known / no wonder you burned down the school  

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Final Journey: Leaving the Tenement
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filthy undershirt / bangs girlfriend’s head against wall next door
rolling my suitcase through littered council lots a final time

no small spaces to fit into / trucks parked on sidewalks
from neighbor’s shacked-up boyfriends / times eleven

no reason to say hello or so long

no fucking / shitting pigeons / flapping night stalkers
no grinning dogs full of ticks / tails tucked between haunches

no pale pimply pushers / rusty green trash bins
no stringy Norwegians / Brit widows / bulb noses

no cigarette butts / singed brown grass / clotheslines / no Max
Carrie’s mother said Max thought she was too good for this place

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Koss is a writer and artist with an MFA from SAIC. She has work in or Diode Poetry, Cincinnati Review, Hobart, Spillway, and others. She also has a hybrid book due out in 2020 by Negative Capability Press and work in Best Small Fictions 2020 anthology. Keep up with Koss on Twitter @Koss51209969 and Instagram @koss_singular.

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