Poetry by Kristiana Reed

​Anton Vakulenko CC




Cinder-daughter
after Fiona Benson

My father identifies the roots.
Tightens his fist but does not pull.
Does not even tease life from the soil.

Over a lunch of ham sandwiches and crisps, he says
This is why you are what you are.
A cinder-daughter. Daughter left
to grow from ashes,
from burned and broken names,
wedding vows forsaken,
blood and flame.
He does not point a finger.

We both leave the crusts and the complimentary salad.
I am grateful to be found.
To be seen for the soot beneath my eyes,
ground into my hair.
To be heard for the embers
clinging to my tongue.
I know my voice is a harsh one. 
Daughter full of smoke.
Full of the coughing-come-shouting-come-choking
she raised herself upon.

The waitress takes our plates,
my father asks for the bill.
He identifies the root, now calls it the seed:
my phoenix belonging.

He pays for lunch and with his kiss goodbye,
I am sure he is just short of saying
This was all my fault. 





Girlself

I watch my girlself sleep,
she won’t let go of my hand,
even after the lullabies have been sung,
the stories read,
her grip remains tight, as tight as the fists
she clenched when mother gave birth.

Her brow is furrowed,
seeds of worry sprouting with the blood
she spills each night she only has herself 
to soothe her heart to sleep.
She fears with her entire body.
She is foetal, curled away
but toward me, she craves 
the safety of being held
but only trusts herself, 
slowly learning to love
the adult girlself becomes. 

I try to love her better,
than I have known myself.
Today I washed her sheets,
let them dry in the summer heat,
beside the flowers, between the bees,
tucked her beneath the sheets,
hair billow-spread upon the pillow.

I watch my girlself sleep,
resist locking every door and window,
resist packing both our bags
and running, disappearing,
finding a place, a home, a bed
in which she will no longer
toss and turn. 

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Kristiana Reed is a writer and freelance editor and proofreader. She is the Editor in Chief for Free Verse Revolution, a literary & arts magazine. In 2019 and 2020 she self-published two poetry collections, Between the Trees and Flowers on the Wall. Her work has been published in Nightingale and Sparrow, Gypsophila Zine, MAELSTROM zine, Turnpike Magazine & Honeyfire Literary Magazine. You can follow her on Instagram @kristiana.reed.