Poetry By Matthew Borczon

        Andrew Seaman CC




I was on my first medication 


for PTSD working as
a prison nurse when
after an inmate extraction
someone asked
me where
I was
you know
inside my head
 because they
needed me out
there and I
had just sort of
zoned out

I explained
that I
was on
a new med
and it made
me feel off 
well the other

nurse said
that I needed
to do something
about that because
you can get killed
here if you
keep trying to
work like this
 
and I
was thinking
I could have
been killed
every day
back where
I was when
I started
needing shit
like this just
to get through
a day still
I did need
to do something
because
now like when
I was in Afghanistan
I was responsible
for other people
 
and now
like then I
still have no
idea who
is supposed
to be
responsible
for me.





I hate
 
when people
put a
descriptive
word in
front of
the word
war
it’s not
a bloody war
a terrible war
a frightening
war it is
just a war
and if
you are
in one
you just
are until
you are
not and
until you
end up
nothing
at all.




Matthew Borczon recently retired from the United States Navy after serving 20 years. He is a poet and a nurse from Erie Pa who has written 17 books of poetry, his most recent PTSD a Living Will is available through Rust belt press. He is co editor of the Rust Belt Review and publishes widely in the small press. He has a wife and four kids and most of his sanity.
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