Tony Webster CC
We are in high school,
and the depressed artistic queer kid
offers me blow in the bathroom.
I refuse the offering and
take a swig of rum from his bejeweled flask.
I apply mascara thickly
and am dressed in all black like a ninja goth.
I look sad because I am sad.
When I go home I lay in bed and stare at the dilapidated ceiling.
I can hear the paint peeling.
I listen to the screams of my mother.
I am fifteen and I do not meditate.
I am fifteen and dysfunctional.
I am fifteen and do not know what functional looks like.
I am fifteen and being healthy extends to
eating apples instead of McDonald's.
I am young so it is okay to still be this fucked up.
I speak cruel things and I do crueler.
My friend dies, the others are suicidal,
and I think this is what getting older means.
Death is approaching on its hind legs.
A shadow attached to my hip.
The future is not a promise for girls like me.
Roxanne Noor is a writer and editor living on an island in Thailand after departing from the urban chaos of New York City. She is the founder of Nude Studio, an online literary & visual journal working to expose global up-and-coming artists. Roxanne's writing can be found on Mixed Mag, Nymphs, Uplift Connect, Full Potential, & forthcoming on Sunstroke Magazine.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.