3/9/2018 Poetry by Yevgeniya Przhebelskaya ajdusatko CC 1 in 8 I'm 1 in 8 - appreciate the irony, was afraid of babies in my teens timidly dating, in my twenties finally married and getting a Masters in Elementary Education. Now I'm over thirty, husband is over forty, where is our child: our precious daughter, our son? Our frozen chosen - in the fertility lab, 30% chance of success - each time they tear out my body and soul? In our unfinished adoption paperwork? "Sorry to disappoint, but as caregivers for a live in adult you need a 3 bedroom house and 300% consent". I'm 1 in 8 The other seven couples on the block are having their first, second and third. Should I get a dog? Or a bird? Are my poems my children, a consolation prize from the Lord? A Flower Grows In Vitro A Schrödinger's cat Inside my belly Is neither dead nor Alive This two week wait Of daily tally Lost in smiles And cries. Big fat positive Big fat negative Rubbing my belly After injections He/she/twins Are a petal An IVF flower Of Love My Prayer Two weeks later A double pink line Eight weeks later A heat beat Forty weeks later A first cry Today I am praying When they put him/her inside... PIO Injections Oil dripping on the needle, Scared and hopeful, I turn my other cheek. Needle glides inside, I scream, I wait, I rest. Tomorrow I will know, If there will be more Needles and pills, Or if this journey has come To a screeching stop. The radio is on, The TV is on. We feast on ice cream, I tear up a poem. I cry, I wait, I rest. Eulogy for the Unborn Blood is gushing between my legs. Our child is dying before we've met. A magnified photo is all I have left… Medical bills arrive, reminding of the precious sweet and helpless little person, created and stored for the three happy months. The seven stages of grief pass swiftly. Was IVF worth it? My second unborn is in Heaven. And I am writing… ![]() Bio: One in eight couples suffers from infertility. Most men and women suffer in silence, a few of them document their journeys on personal blogs. Yevgeniya Przhebelskaya has found her voice by writing poetry. Her poems have been published in magazines in Russia and in USA. Yevgeniya is a founder and facilitator of Bergen Poetry Workshop, and an Administrative Assistant at Leonia United Methodist Church. She earned a Masters in Education from Hunter College, CUNY. Yevgeniya hopes that her experience of suffering and healing will encourage people around the world. .Yevgeniya’s poems were published in Ancient Paths, A Blind Man’s Rainbow, Time of Singing, and The Penwood Review. Check out her poetry page at https://leonia.church/2018-archive/poetry-by-yevgeniya-przhebelskaya/ Comments are closed.
|
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
December 2024
Categories |