That’s Not My Boyfriend by Roz Weaver

That’s Not My Boyfriend

Today was a good day
filled with self care
but still his thoughts
overwhelm him
more than he can bear
I see his point
when he tells me life isn't fair
it's a burden
he can't shake to share
with a friend
as his mother tells me
that's not like her son
and that's not my boyfriend.

When he calls me in tears
with his anxious fears
thinking nobody hears
how alone he thinks he is
he's been like this for months
he's worried he'll be like this for years
till his head will feel clear
in the end
but right now
that's not my boyfriend.

He's sliced through his arm
he's covered in scars
he's on a path of destruction
intent to do himself harm
he puts himself down
and pulls himself apart
lost sight of the talent
in the beauty of his art
to his bruised heart
I keep trying to mend
but my love
that's not my boyfriend.

Last Thursday
police found him
stood on the edge
of a bridge
after he'd pledged
his intent
to work on his head
and I know
mental health
is far from easy to mend
but he deserves better,
because that's not my boyfriend.

​

Roz is a poet and spoken word performer from the North of England. She has been published in Catalogue of Failure, Dear Damsels, Whisper and the Roar, Morality Park, Yellow Arrow Journal, Persephone’s Daughters, as well as the poetry anthologies ‘Persona Non Grata’, 'Further Within Darkness and Light' and ‘Essential Existentialism - The Meaning of Life’. In 2018, her work was displayed at the annual Rape Crisis UK Conference, as well being displayed and performed at two further exhibitions in London – ‘The Sunlight Project’ and ‘Testimony’.

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