THE PTSD BLUES IN 3 Parts By Matthew Borczon

THE PTSD BLUES IN 3 Parts

new job 
 
less than
6 months
back from
Afghanistan
and I’m
losing money
fast so
when the
prison job
came along
I took it
even though
my psychiatrist
said he
could not
imagine
how I
could get
better working
in that
environment
 I did
not understand
what he
meant
 
the first
time I
went into
an inmate
extraction
the guards
removed a
convict in
hand and
leg cuffs
while I
treated a
young inmate
unconscious
bloody and
swollen with
4 teeth
scattered
across  the
concrete floor
 
I remember
feeling at
home for
the first
time in
months.

 
NOSC Erie
 
I had
blown my
cool one
day at
drill and
the officer
in charge
referred me
to mental
health
counseling
 
after that
I would
get  phone
calls from
chiefs and
officers just
to check
on me
and how
am I
doing and
was I
OK
 
I was
working a
third shift
job in
the County
jail and
I was
only sleeping
about 3
hours a
day and
there was
a ringing
in my
ears that
sounded like
a telephone
and every
4th inmate
was a
vet who
blamed the
military or
the war
for their
drug habits
and drinking 
for the
assaults or
beating their
wives
after awhile
I stopped
even
pretending
to listen
it's hard
to hear
that shit
with the
sounds of
helicopters
and wounded
soldiers
screaming
in my
ears.   
 
 

bed

the cots
we slept
on in
Afghanistan
were no
wider than
your shoulders
so I
would sleep
with my
hand on
the rail
to remind
myself
not to
turn over
or I
would fall
out of
my rack
 
5 years
later
in a
king sized
bed I
hold onto
my wife’s
hip at
night
the bed
is bigger
but their
is so
much farther
to fall.





About the Author: Matthew Borczon is a writer and nurse from Erie, Pa he writes about his experience at camp Bastion, the busiest combat hospital in Afghanistan from 2010-11 and all the problems he has had coming home. His work has been printed in Big Hammer, Rasputin, Dissident voice as well as many other journals and his chap book A clock of Human Bones will be published by the Yellow Chair review in Early 2016.