Tony Asks by Chris Jansen

​Tony Asks

"But how can we persuade ourselves to love our lives?"

Maybe if you twist my arm behind my back.
Maybe if you put a gun to my head.

Maybe if you compare my situation 
to someone living in North Korea.
Maybe if you remind me that Shakespeare
had to shit in the street.

Maybe if you tell me I should be grateful.
Maybe if you tell me I should be ashamed.

Maybe if a friend sits down and says,
Man that's nothing, let me tell you all the crap
I'm going through.

It doesn't work 
for the same reason
that the flesh-colored crayon
never resembled the color of flesh.

For the same reason 
everyone can tell when you're fucked up.

For the same reason the jets lift 
out of Hartsfield,
making for Rome, for Paris,
all night long.

What if you could go back to high school?
What if you had his talent?
What if you had studied harder, cried sooner?
What if you went through your pockets again
and found the missing lottery ticket?

Get up early like a Buddhist,
study charts,check messages,
screw the competition
before the markets open.

Or picture this:
it's you back in rehab,
down in the dining hall,
that girl sitting next to you,
she showed you your hands,
turned them over,
touched the lines,
said, "these will do."

Yes, that works too.

​

Chris Jansen is a recovering heroin addict. He lives in Athens, Georgia, where he teaches boxing and cares for a disinterested guinea pig named Poozybear.

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