Ugly By Shawn McClure

Ugly

It turned bad so slowly that it was hard to pinpoint when it was too late, but the night Marc was so drunk and furious that he choked Sophie, not letting go until he was a second short of breaking her esophagus, was a landmark moment. The next morning she stared at her puffy eyes and felt the bruises on her neck. Swallowing was more painful than ever before. Even Strep Throat never hurt as bad as this.
Sophie took photos of herself, but deleted them. Instead, she made a self portrait with smeared charcoal under the eyes and fat lips. She made hair of scribbles and rough fingerprints. In bold letters beneath, she wrote two words: Ugly, and Ugly.

*

Somewhere in the middle of a life, a woman walks into a cathedral of green and disconnects. She hears a bird singing out questions, and she searches her mind for the answer. She cannot find it, but there, pushing up through the pine needles, is a pure white mushroom. She remembers reading about this mushroom and its liver destroying toxins. She reaches out and touches the cap softly and sees a tiny plume of spores swirl into the long sun. It is otherworldly, and so beautiful.

*

Sophie was in the kitchen cutting fruit for her girls when the knock came. Her heart and stomach leapt. The ache from an old fracture in her hip sprang to throbbing life. In slow motion, she dried the juice from her hands, kneeled down eye level to her daughters, age six and three. She made them look at her, and gave them each a firm message. "I love you," She says to one daughter.  "I love you," she says to the next, who kisses her hand and goes back to her fruit.

Sophie opens the door a crack. It is a man. He does not look terribly unkind. She relaxes only a little.

​"Sophie Russomano" he says softly. "We would like to talk to you about your late husband's toxicology report."




Bio: Shawn McClure is a visual artist and writer who resides in central New Jersey with her family and some cats. She has a passion for nature, science, and beauty found in unexpected places. Her work has appeared in Unbroken Journal, Kindred and Red Flag Poetry, among others.
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