Why I Love Owls By Elisabeth Horan

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​Why I Love Owls


Do you know what it’s like to be fat?
Fat is like being thrown out a car door
for not knowing how to suck cock/

Do you know what it's like to hate myself
to the core -
For being thrown out a car door for
not knowing how to suck cock/
for being fat

Do you know what it's like to try to die
from the act or non-act of eating
It's like being called fat overandoveragain and then being
thrown out a car door for not knowing how to suck cock/
and for being fat

Do you know what it's like to fail to die -
From the pathetic fail of trying to die
from the selfish act of eating and/or the selfish act of non-eating
or the act of throwing up one’s insides

Like a selfish little bitch
who is a whiny piece of shit
about her stupid, wasted life -

It's like being fat. It’s
Like being called a fat lez
Like wishing I was a fat lez instead...
Like failing at gagging oneself.
Like failing at gagging oneself with a disgusting cock - /

In the hopes of some kind or acceptance
by an asshole wannabe logger named Marcus
who hath monikered you ‘Fat-Troll’
who tells you to suck his disgusting dick/
in a Chevy S-10 with not enough Buds to ever make it doable/tolerable

And he takes your last smoke; the one you would later need to nurse the choke
And hepushesyou, hepushesyou:
(you: a drunk and gibbering, Fat-troll monikered, misused, mistaken, missing teen)
out of a gaping door)

“Thanks for nothing… but a fucking shitty blowjob”

Then he drives off  - just like that.
And then, suddenly - you are not fat.
Neither are you cumstained.

And then you think, is that not an owl?
Then you think - owls don’t hate fat girls -
Neither would an owl make you give them a blowjob.
Owls simply don’t behave like that.

That is what it is like to be fat.
And that is also why I love owls.



*Why I Love Owls is from the soon to be released chapbook Pensacola Girls, which Elisabeth wrote with Kristin Garth, by Bone & Ink Press.


Elisabeth Horan is a poet and mother living in Vermont trying to make the world a better place with her words. She hopes others might find kinship, solace, release, perhaps even closure from this poem. She wrote it as she worked to transition from feeling like a victim to living as a survivor. She says to all of you out there: you are not alone in your pain. Hold on, have hope. You are loved.  @ehoranpoet / ehoranpoet.com