Alejandro Lopez Flickr
Why I Love Owls
Do you know what it’s like to be fat?
Fat is like being thrown out a car door
for not knowing how to suck cock/
Do you know what it's like to hate myself
to the core -
For being thrown out a car door for
not knowing how to suck cock/
for being fat
Do you know what it's like to try to die
from the act or non-act of eating
It's like being called fat overandoveragain and then being
thrown out a car door for not knowing how to suck cock/
and for being fat
Do you know what it's like to fail to die -
From the pathetic fail of trying to die
from the selfish act of eating and/or the selfish act of non-eating
or the act of throwing up one’s insides
Like a selfish little bitch
who is a whiny piece of shit
about her stupid, wasted life -
It's like being fat. It’s
Like being called a fat lez
Like wishing I was a fat lez instead...
Like failing at gagging oneself.
Like failing at gagging oneself with a disgusting cock - /
In the hopes of some kind or acceptance
by an asshole wannabe logger named Marcus
who hath monikered you ‘Fat-Troll’
who tells you to suck his disgusting dick/
in a Chevy S-10 with not enough Buds to ever make it doable/tolerable
And he takes your last smoke; the one you would later need to nurse the choke
And hepushesyou, hepushesyou:
(you: a drunk and gibbering, Fat-troll monikered, misused, mistaken, missing teen)
out of a gaping door)
“Thanks for nothing… but a fucking shitty blowjob”
Then he drives off - just like that.
And then, suddenly - you are not fat.
Neither are you cumstained.
And then you think, is that not an owl?
Then you think - owls don’t hate fat girls -
Neither would an owl make you give them a blowjob.
Owls simply don’t behave like that.
That is what it is like to be fat.
And that is also why I love owls.
*Why I Love Owls is from the soon to be released chapbook Pensacola Girls, which Elisabeth wrote with Kristin Garth, by Bone & Ink Press.
Elisabeth Horan is a poet and mother living in Vermont trying to make the world a better place with her words. She hopes others might find kinship, solace, release, perhaps even closure from this poem. She wrote it as she worked to transition from feeling like a victim to living as a survivor. She says to all of you out there: you are not alone in your pain. Hold on, have hope. You are loved. @ehoranpoet / ehoranpoet.com
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.